CHANCES:

That kids will be going door to door this Halloween – 94%

That the kids on the East Coast will be going door to door through the air – 72%

CHANCES:

That once you have all your leaves raked in a pile, a big gust of wind will scatter them all over your yard – 66%

That once your neighbor has his leaves raked in a pile, a gust of wind will scatter them all over your yard – 70%

CHANCES:

That Obama was the winner of the debate if you’re a democrat – 100%

That Romney won the debate if you’re a Republican – 100%

That they both proved their Presidential capacity for restraint by never once reaching for a glass of water sitting at their side – 100%

That Paul Ryan would ever pass the restraint test - .05%

CHANCES:

That the money you give to a homeless person will go for:

Food – 12%

Transportation – 19%

Alcohol or drugs – 21%

Alleviating your guilt – 81%

CHANCES:

That at any given moment 10% of the country is on the on hold with customer service trying to straighten something out – 10%

That it’s 20% of the country – 30%

That it’s 50% of the country – 4%

That it’s 50% of another country answering the calls – 71%

CHANCES:

 

That the coupon you have cannot be used for items on sale, like the item you want – 64%

That the coupon you have cannot be combined with another coupon you want to use – 86%

That the coupon you have expired yesterday - 16%

That the coupon you have is good only if you spend another $135 more than you want – 41%

That you can actually use the coupon – 2%

 

CHANCES:

That your kids will dress appropriately for the weather:

If you are still dressing them – 85%

If they’re a teen – 25%

If they’re a teen and you’ve told them what the weather is like out and suggested proper clothing – 26%

CHANCES:

That you’ll immediately figure out how the shower faucet works in your hotel room – 23%

That you’ll try for 20 minutes trying to get water to come out – 31%

That you’ll call the front desk and they’ll send up a guy and you’ll have to get dressed and after seeing how it 

is done, you’ll slap yourself in the forehead – 68%

That it will only take you 12 minutes to turn it on the next day – 54%