CHANCES:

That you bought something on Cyber Monday – 39%
 
That Cyber Monday will lead to a new Xmas season retail day known as “Returns Saturday” -77%

CHANCES:

That there will be at least a dozen play reviews in an NFL game – 48%

That one day soon, instead of watching the game, we’ll just watch the wrap up of the refs as they finish watching a replay of the entire game, just to see them say, “After reviewing the whole game, the rulings on the field stand. The final score remains…” – 86%

CHANCES:

That when you just want to quickly return your DVD, you’ll wait in line at Redbox behind a guy who is deciding which movie to rent from among every movie in the machine – 44%

CHANCES:

That when the AT&T repair guy said my internet and TV would be back up in 8 hours he laughed out loud and said "Sucker!" as soon as he hung up the phone – 93%

That instead of being called AT&T U-Verse it should be called U Versus AT&T – 77%
 
That U is gonna to win – 16%

CHANCES:

That kids will be going door to door this Halloween – 94%

That the kids on the East Coast will be going door to door through the air – 72%

CHANCES:

That once you have all your leaves raked in a pile, a big gust of wind will scatter them all over your yard – 66%

That once your neighbor has his leaves raked in a pile, a gust of wind will scatter them all over your yard – 70%

CHANCES:

That Obama was the winner of the debate if you’re a democrat – 100%

That Romney won the debate if you’re a Republican – 100%

That they both proved their Presidential capacity for restraint by never once reaching for a glass of water sitting at their side – 100%

That Paul Ryan would ever pass the restraint test - .05%

CHANCES:

That the money you give to a homeless person will go for:

Food – 12%

Transportation – 19%

Alcohol or drugs – 21%

Alleviating your guilt – 81%

CHANCES:

That at any given moment 10% of the country is on the on hold with customer service trying to straighten something out – 10%

That it’s 20% of the country – 30%

That it’s 50% of the country – 4%

That it’s 50% of another country answering the calls – 71%

CHANCES:

 

That the coupon you have cannot be used for items on sale, like the item you want – 64%

That the coupon you have cannot be combined with another coupon you want to use – 86%

That the coupon you have expired yesterday - 16%

That the coupon you have is good only if you spend another $135 more than you want – 41%

That you can actually use the coupon – 2%

 

CHANCES:

That your kids will dress appropriately for the weather:

If you are still dressing them – 85%

If they’re a teen – 25%

If they’re a teen and you’ve told them what the weather is like out and suggested proper clothing – 26%

CHANCES:

That you’ll immediately figure out how the shower faucet works in your hotel room – 23%

That you’ll try for 20 minutes trying to get water to come out – 31%

That you’ll call the front desk and they’ll send up a guy and you’ll have to get dressed and after seeing how it 

is done, you’ll slap yourself in the forehead – 68%

That it will only take you 12 minutes to turn it on the next day – 54%

CHANCES:

That a ½ mile before your highway exit, someone will be doing 50 in the right hand lane – 81%


That you’ll try to go around them to pick up the extra 7/10 of a second - 68%


That the guy in the passing lane will be going too slow to allow that and you’ll end up falling right back behind the slow moving car – 39%


That if that never happens to you, you wonder why cars are always right on your tail when you’re going a decent 50 MPH - 19%

CHANCES:

That a college brochure will depict the campus in sun drenched summer – 80%

That it will show a golden fall day with leaves ablaze in color – 99.9%

Even if the college is in Arizona – 98%

That it won’t be like that on the day you’re there – 77%

CHANCES:

That the only seat available on the bus will be the handicapped seat – 12%

That you’ll sit in it but will have to give it up to a handicapped or elderly person by the next stop – 44%

That someone ambiguously disabled will come by -11%

That you’ll offer up your seat only to have them get angry at you for thinking they are disabled  or so elderly that they need it when they don’t think they do – 19%

 

CHANCES:

That your kids appreciate you – 12%

That they’ll appreciate you when they have their own kids – 74%

That, when you’re honest about it, you admit that you’re just winging it when it comes to parenting  – 97%

That it had ever dawned on you that your parents had no idea what they were doing either – 9%

That that’s what you’re counting on with your kids too – 96%

CHANCES:

That your cellphone conversation will be dropped in the middle of it – 7%

That they call back – 25%

That you call back – 25%

That you both call back at the same time and each get the voicemail – 25%

That neither of you call back and you never finish the conversation - 25%

That you’re both happiest at that outcome – 77%

CHANCES:

That your grass is completely brown – 41%

That your grass is brown except for one green patch 3 foot square – 86%

That that one green patch is overgrown requiring you to still go out and mow the lawn – 91%

That you are proud of your green patch – 97%

CHANCES:

That you’ll never learn, will you? 40%

That you will learn, but by then it won’t matter – 60%

CHANCES:

That just like in the movies you’ll beat the train across the railroad tracks – 0%

That just like in the movies you’ll be able to jump from the top of one building to the top of another – 0%

That just like in the movies you can hang on to a window ledge by your fingertips for more than 20 seconds – 0%

That just like in the movies you can jump and roll from a moving train and get up and be OK – 0%

That just like in the movies you can do it from a moving car – 0%

That just like in the movies you can hold your breath underwater for a minute and a half – 0%

That when you see any of these things in the movies you will think, “I could do that if I had to” –  Men -88%, Women - .03%

CHANCES:

That at some point during the day you can’t find your cellphone – 29%


That you try calling it from the land line to locate it by the ring – 88%


That the ringer on your phone is off and you don’t hear it – 41%


That later you can’t find the portable phone you used to try calling your cell and would call that if only you could find your cell – 27%

CHANCES:

That of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she’d walk into mine – 4%

If she’s an alcoholic who loves gin – 11%

That I’d own a gin joint - .0003%

CHANCES:

That you’ll absentmindedly put your groceries in someone else’s cart -8%


That you won’t realize it until check out – 4%


That the person whose cart you took is wandering the store thinking they have lost their mind -39%


That they’ve issued an APB for a stolen cart and you’ll have a SWAT team on you at check out - 18%

CHANCES:

That you should stay – 50%

That you should go now? – 50%

That if you stay it will be trouble – 50%

That if you go it will be double – 100%

CHANCES: 

That people will like a book or movie you recommend – 16%

That you’ll like a book or movie someone recommends to you – 11%

That you’re the weird one – 91%

CHANCES: 

That the return portion of the bill will tear off at the perforation – 17%

That there isn’t a worthwhile perforation and you just rip jagged edges trying to get it off – 26%

That the bill will be folded just below the perforation and tear there instead, so it is just a ¼ inch too big to fit in the envelope and you’ve got to spend 15 minutes looking for a pair of scissors to cut that little portion off, but when you can’t find them you try manually ripping it and get so frustrated that you just don’t pay your bill and the next month you wonder why you have all these extra fees for non-payment and you spend an hour on the phone with them trying to get the fees removed by arguing that it’s their fault because they can’t fold a damn bill where it’s supposed to be folded – 57%

CHANCES:

That you can squeeze one more brushing’s worth out of the end of that toothpaste tube – 93%

That you can get one more after that – 86%

After that – 74%

After that – 60%

After that – 44%

That you’ll have purchased another tube before this one really runs out – 6%

CHANCES:

That you’re scared of your cleaning person because she’s great and you don’t want to lose her – 63%


That you’re scared of your cleaning person because she’s terrible and you don’t know how to fire her – 82%


That she’s scared of you – 3%

CHANCES:

That I stopped posting because:
I'm busy - 3%
I'm lazy - 9%
I'm dry - 84%
I'm forgetful - 3%
I'm short Facebook stock - 1%

CHANCES:

That with the warmer weather you’re sleeping with windows open – 82%

That you forgot that open windows tend to blow bedroom doors open and shut through the night – 77%

That you remembered at 2:00 AM with a loud bang – 77%

That you bothered to get out of bed to solve the problem on the first bang – 19%

That it took until the fifth time before you got out of bed to fix it – 81%

That you wonder why you seem to be more tired in the summertime – 68%

CHANCES:

That the restaurant will have your reservation – 84%

That you’ll have to wait for a table anyway – 35%

That people who came in after you will get seated before you – 41%

That when you finally get seated the waiter will bring a free appetizer to appease you – 29%

That it will be something you wouldn’t have wanted anyway – 93%

That you won’t look close enough at the bill to realize they charged you for it – 66%

CHANCES:

That the so-called “humanely raised chicken” you buy at the market will have gotten:

Vacations – 2%

A Pension - .003%

Health insurance – 0%

Bathroom Breaks – 0%

To die of old age – 0%

To question the term humane – 94% (though not publicly)

CHANCES:

That a vending machine dispensed the item you selected – 73%

That it dispensed the item next to the one you wanted – 26%

That your item got stuck somewhere on the way down – 19%

That even without actually getting your item, it was worth a buck just to watch the machine whirr – 53%

CHANCES:

That you’ll pull up close enough to the ATM to easily access it – 53%

That you’ll be leaning out the window far enough that you could fall out – 12%

That you’ll have to open your door and walk to the ATM from where you stopped – 19%

That you’ll back up, realign and knock your side view mirror off in the process – 11%

That going in to the bank would save time, effort and fuel – 91%

That you’ll do that next time – 3%

CHANCES:

That you will find a dead mouse in the trap you set in the morning – 72%

That you’ll find a live one, only wounded – 14%

That you’ll try to figure out some way to put it out of its misery – 4%

That unless you have a gun you won’t be able to do anything – 88%

That you’ll bandage it up and set it free – 0%

That you’ll shut the drawer and hope it’s dead by the next day and in the meantime say you’re keeping him there as a warning for the other mice – 43%

CHANCES:

That on your phone mail outgoing recording you will sound inappropriately loud or confused – 66%

That that is how you normally sound – 40%

CHANCES:

That the bag of chips you bought at the store will make it home without getting completely eaten – 50%


That it will make it to the checkout line without getting opened – 20%

CHANCES:

That there is a God – 50%


That you’ll say there is a God, right after sex or when your team wins the World Series – 94%

CHANCES:

That, medical procedures aside, you can get pregnant without having sex – 0%


That it can happen If you believe in the virgin birth story - .0000000000000000001%


That some girl is out there trying to convince her parents that that’s what happened to her – 100%

CHANCES:

That when someone asks if you’ve already heard this one, you have – 92%

That you remember the punchline – 8%

That it’s a punchline worth remembering – .1%

That you'll chuckle and pretend it was funny - 24%

CHANCES:

That I’m getting any better in the sports I play – 15%

That if I continue to improve at this rate, I will be really good when I’m 130 – 17%

CHANCES:

That you liked your NFL team’s pick in the draft – 50%

That Roger Goodell liked your team’s pick so much he gave him a big hug – 100%

That Roger Goodell will hug the 2^nd and 3^rd round guys too – 5%

That he hugs NFL players when he suspends them – 1%

CHANCES:

That you can turn the pages of the Sunday Times Magazine without them sticking together – 8%

That licking a finger will get stuck pages apart – 14%

That licking a finger on each hand and then moving the pages in opposite directions will get them apart – 29%

That directly licking the pages will get them apart – 38%

That you’ll want to read the magazine with all that slobber all over it – 1%

CHANCES:

That there will be a parking space close to where you are going – 21%

That you will spend more time driving around looking for a space than it would have taken you to walk from the farthest space there is - 46%

That there will be one car taking up two spaces – 93%

That that car will be an SUV or larger vehicle – 77%

CHANCES:

That I’ll find a dead mouse with a trap I set – 62%

That the mouse will eat the peanut butter and manage to not set off the trap – 31%

That the mouse will only get his foot caught and I’ll find him alive but stuck – 8%

That I won’t know what to do with him and toss him in the back yard – 81%

That he’ll start a rehabilitated life in my backyard with a trap attached to his foot – 3%

CHANCES:

That the sudden irritation on your arm is a bug crawling on you – 39%

That it’s a loose hair – 12%

That it’s just an itch – 49%

That by the time you realize what it is you will be more concerned with the self-inflicted injury from whacking at it – 86%

CHANCES:

That someone else is taking care of it - 0%

CHANCES:

That the noises your printer is making are normal – 77%

That there is a macaw stuck in your printer – 11%

That a WWII munitions factory made less noise – 83%

That you can’t even hear your printer because the dishwasher is running – 91%

CHANCES:

That you’ve got at least three gift cards lying around that you aren’t sure if they have any value or not – 74%

That they have less than $2 left on them – 88%

That you’ll find that out when you buy $12 worth of stuff you don’t really need – 61%

CHANCES:

That you’ll sit in the doctor’s waiting room for:

10 minutes –10%

20 minutes – 20%

30 minutes - 40%

That if you didn’t wait 30 minutes in the waiting room, you’ll wait the difference in the exam room – 42%

That the doctor will spend so little time with you, you’ll wonder why he’s ever late – 53%

CHANCES:

That the prophet Elijah will come to your Passover Seder tonight - .00003%

That the prophet Elijah Mohammed will come to your Passover Seder tonight - .00001%

That if Elijah Mohammed comes he’ll drink the wine – 0%

CHANCES:

That your kids will listen to you when you offer advice - .5%


That they’ll listen to you when they ask for advice – 1.5%

CHANCES:

That you’ll be reincarnated as:

A human – 17%

An animal – 9%

An insect – 3%

A plant – 2%

A zombie – 1%

A volleyball – 10%

CHANCES:

That your numbers will win the largest jackpot ever - .0000000001%

That if you do win, so many other people will be enticed to play and have the same winning numbers, that the value of the split jackpot will be $8/person – 99.91%

CHANCES:

That you forgot to pick up one key ingredient when you did your grocery shopping – 40%


That you realize it before you start cooking - .0001%


That it’s an essential ingredient – 98%


That the neighbor has it in his/her cupboard – 14%

That when you go back to the store to get it they are out of it – 9%

That you realize when you get back home that you had a coupon for it – 11%

That the coupon was expired – 68%

That all your coupons except the one for $1 off five cans of cat food have expired – 30%

That your cat has expired - .07%

CHANCES:

That the temperature in your hotel room is:


Too hot – 49%


Too cold – 48%


Comfortable – 3%


That on any stay over 3 nights you will finally have it properly adjusted the night before you 
leave – 88%

CHANCES:

That you’ll have one of the following named after you one day:


A stretch of highway – .8%


A disease – 6%


A building – 1%

A child – 29%

A sandwich – 4%

A Supreme Court case – 16%

Star – 41%

CHANCES:

That those bumps are just a rash caused by a reaction to the new laundry detergent – 6%

That those bumps were caused by a bedbug - 8%

That those bumps were caused by a nastier, poisonous bug and your rash is likely to spread over your whole body before it kills you – 16%

That you’ll still have mystifying bumps after fumigating the whole house and seeking medical treatment – 61%

CHANCES:

That you should beware the Ides of March – 1/365

That you should beware all the other days of the year – 364/365

CHANCES:

That the weather is an indication of Global Warming – 80%


That it’s not the Global Warming it’s the global humidifying – 20%

CHANCES:

That you’ll have a Band-Aid that is the right size and shape for your cut – 28%


That it will have Elmo on it – 73%

CHANCES:

That with the time change you’re a little groggy today – 65%


That you appreciate the extra daylight in the evening – 71%


That the cows need milking and the damn rooster crows with the sun so what the hell difference does it make what time it says on a clock – 11%


That you live in Arizona and don’t know what time change I’m talking about – 4%

CHANCES:

That your trouble is caused by something you:


Said – 49%


Did – 49%


Ate – 2%

CHANCES:

That you’ll put the q-tip in your ear – 24%


Even when your mother and doctor told you not to – 24%


That you didn’t hear them – 24%


Because you had a q-tip in your ear – 24%

CHANCES:

That you’ll get March Madness – 65%


That you’ll get it in October – 3%

CHANCES:

That you’re a pessimist – 50%


That you think the odds are worse than that – 50%


That by worse you meant larger than 50% - 50%


That if you said you thought they were worse and you did mean larger that you are a pessimist – 99%

That you’re an optimist – 50%

That you’re an optometrist - .05%

That you know the difference between the two – 64%

CHANCES:

That you can get some followers by predicting the end of the world – 23%


That the closer the prediction the more followers you’ll get – 73%


That if you predict it will happen in a couple of trillion years you’ve got a better chance of being right – 94%


That there’s any benefit to actually being right – 0%

CHANCES:

That you can get some followers by predicting the end of the world – 23%
That the closer the prediction the more followers you’ll get – 73%
That if you predict it will happen in a couple of trillion years you’ve got a better chance of being right – 94%
That there’s any benefit to actually being right – 0%

CHANCES:

That you can’t go home again – 78%

That if you do get to go home again, they will have changed the locks and you can’t get in – 99%

CHANCES:

That when you go through the automatic car wash you’ll:

Leave your back window open – 6%

Break off an antenna - 8%

Break off a mirror – 3%

Break a wiper – 12%

Doubt that their actually spraying on protectant even though you got the upgrade – 89%

CHANCES:

That you’ll have singles to tip the valet – 29%

That you’ll find someone to break a $20 – 16%

That the best anyone could do is two $10s so you way over tip – 39%

That the valet had parked your car right across the street, so you just walked to it anyway, but still gave him a $10 tip – 41%

CHANCES:
That your shampoo claims it will help with your hair volume – 61%

That people are having trouble hearing your hair – 96%

CHANCES:

That you’re within X feet of a Starbucks at any given moment, where X equals:

Less than 100 feet – 14%

101 to 500 feet – 64%

501 to 1000 feet – 12%

1001 to 30,000 feet – 9.97%

Over 30,000 feet – the .03% who are reading this on an airplane

CHANCES:

That you’ll be famous for 15 minutes – 44%

That it won’t be for anything good – 91%

CHANCES:

That you’ll get hit in the head by a falling:

Coconut – 2%

Kumquat - .7%

Star - .00003%

B-list star – 1%

Piano – 4%

Piano, if you are a cartoon character – 26%

CHANCES:

That you can find a matching lid to your Tupperware container - 30%

That if you can’t you’ll dump the leftovers into another container with a lid – 25%

That you’ll just put plastic wrap over it – 75%

That you’ll throw it out untouched in a week anyway – 92%

CHANCES:

That you’ll cut yourself shaving – 29%

That you’ll cut yourself shaving someone else – 24%

CHANCES:

That you get the day off on President’s Day – 53%

That you get the day off if you are a president – 4%

That you get the day off if you are the President – 0%

That you get the day off if you are the Vice-President – 84%...if it’s a Monday? – 100%

CHANCES:

That when you can’t connect to the internet it’s the fault of:

Your computer – 6%

Your router – 4%

Your ISP – 11%

The wind blowing in the wrong direction – 19%

The magical atoms aren’t functioning according to physics – 60%

CHANCES:

That you’ll mix up your own children’s names - 96%

That you hated it when your parents did that to you and your siblings – 96%

That you’ve apologized to your parents for getting angry with them over it – 0%

CHANCES:

That a woman will be convinced to have sex on Valentine’s Day because you got her:

A card – 1%

A suggestive card – .1%

A musical, suggestive card – .2%

A giant, oversize, romantic card – 1.4%

Chocolate – 3%

A nice dinner – 12%

George Clooney – 94%

CHANCES:

That you’ll miss filling in a box required when purchasing something online – 68%

That when you get sent back to the page to fill out the missing info, it will automatically delete other info, which you won’t notice you have to refill, so you’ll get sent back to the same page a third time – 86%

That after 5 attempts you’ll still want the item you were trying to purchase – 11%

CHANCES:

That there will be a hair in your sandwich  – 8%

That the hair in the sandwich is your hair – 3%

That you’ll take it out and still eat the sandwich; Men – 68%, Women – 22%

CHANCES:

That at some point during the day you’ll feel like a complete idiot – 82%

That at some point during the week you’ll feel like a complete idiot – 92%

That you are a complete idiot – 23%

That you are a partial idiot – 71%

CHANCES:

That your credit card company will call in any given month suspecting fraud – 57%

That you’ll recognize the charges as yours – 15%

That you’ll clearly realize it is fraud – 15%

That you’ll need to check, because it’s possible that you or your spouse did buy all that – 70%

That when you realize it was you, you’ll have a serious discussion about curbing your spending – 80%

That anything will change – 2%

CHANCES:

That you preferred the ads to the game – 34%

That you preferred Madonna to the ads – 11%

That you preferred the party food to Madonna – 83%

That you preferred the gambling to the food – 53%

That you’re not sure what football has to do with the Super Bowl – 77%

CHANCES:

That in a call with your internet provider to sign you up to get your system working faster they will tell you to hold on as “our computers are working slowly today” - 40%
That when you point out that bit of irony, the customer service person will appreciate the humor – 6%

CHANCES:

That if the groundhog sees it shadow we’ll have 6 more weeks:

Of Winter – 20%

Of unusually mild weather – 10%

Of Autumn, but not until late September – 25%

Of February – 1%

Until the Ides of March – 97%

CHANCES:

That a call on the land line anymore is from:

A solicitor – 21%

A charity –  29%

An immediate relative – 31%

A wrong number –  18%

Someone you want to hear from – 1%

That that 1% chance is keeping you from getting rid of the line – 82%

Been away for a week or so. Did you miss me? Or thankful for the lack of notifications? Here's one I missed the chance on earlier but with another primary today, I'll list it.

CHANCES:

That you can fool all of the people some of the time – 95%

That you can fool some of the people all of the time – 95%

That the second group lives predominantly in S. Carolina – 40%

CHANCES:

That you’ll be solicited by nieces, nephews and neighbors for various school, after-school or sports team endeavors to buy:

Magazines you don’t need – 21%

Candy or baked goods you don’t want – 31%

Gift wrap you can’t use – 19%

Coupon booklets to places you’ll never go – 28%

Illicit drugs or gambling – 1%

CHANCES:

That a player on any major league baseball team is using a false name – 39%

That he mostly uses it when checking into a hotel – 91%

That he uses it when getting a passport - .2%

That Sidd Finch is sitting in a Dominican jail – .002%

CHANCES:

That you know the latest iteration of the African American handshake, if you are:

White – 1.4%

Black – 27%

Play hockey – 0%

CHANCES:

That you’ll be next in line when they do a shift change – 71%

CHANCES:

That on any given afternoon you’ll need a nap:

Age   0 – 4  - 86%        (That you’ll take one – 46%)

Age   5 – 12  - 21%     (That you’ll take one – 18%)

Age  13 – 42 -  8%      (Never get a chance to take one)

Age 43 – 67  - 21%     (That you’ll take one – 18%)

Age 68 - 99 – 86%      (That you’ll take one – 99%)

CHANCES:

That you’ll try to open someone else’s car in the parking lot, thinking it was yours – 9%

If you own a Prius – 49%

CHANCES:

That you took out the garbage even though it was a holiday – 18%

That as you took it out you noticed that only one other person had their garbage out – 50%

That it still didn’t register – 28%

That you pulled your garbage back in this morning so people don’t realize what an idiot you are – 9%

That you pulled it back in so people wouldn’t think you’re from Arizona and are protesting MLK day – 84%

CHANCES:

That you both liked the movie – 6%

That neither of you liked the movie – 6%

That you liked it, he didn’t – 44%

The he liked it, you didn’t – 44%

That you’ll spend much of the rest of the evening wondering why you are together  – 88%

CHANCES:

That your porridge is too cold – 33%

That your chair is too big -33%

That your bed is too hard -33%

That if all these are true, you should get out of the house before you are mauled to death by bears – 100%

CHANCES:

That your desk will be cleared by the end of the day – 4%

That you desk will have more clutter on it at the end of the day then it does now – 39%

That you’re not quite sure where your desk is – 7%

CHANCES:

That you rinse and repeat -12%

That you rinse without repeating, knowing that it’s just a scam by the shampoo makers to get you to use more shampoo -  77%

That sometimes, with all the stuff you have to do in the shower, you forget whether you’ve shampooed or not and might be unintentionally repeating – 11%

CHANCES:

That you’re getting your daily recommended dose of magnesium – 22%

That you’re getting your daily recommended dose of sulfur - 19%

That if you are getting your daily recommended dose of those elements you work in a mine – 63%

CHANCES:

That the dental hygienist will talk to you while your mouth is full of equipment – 94%

That you’ll try to respond – 94%

That this little joke is what gets hygienists through their day – 94%

CHANCES:

That you’ll find your name on the display of keychains or replica license plates or other trinket in the museum gift shop if your name is:

Brittany- 83%

Amy – 39%

Svetlana – 1%

Amber – 89%

Burnt Umber - .003%

Michael – 86%

Vayshon – 1%

Adlai - .003%

Tony – 92%

Fat Tony – 0%

CHANCES:

That your mind is playing tricks on you – 40%

That it’s a card trick and you think you’ve got it figured out – 39%

CHANCES:

That you’re dressed for success – 20%

That you’re overdressed for success – 3%

That you’re underdressed for success – 8%

That you’re dressed for disappointment – 13%

That you’re overdressed for disappointment – 56%

CHANCES:

That you had a relaxing vacation, but are glad to be back – 6%

That you had a relaxing vacation and wish you didn’t have to be back -12%

That you had a frazzled vacation and are glad to be back -14%

That you never left -28%

That you’d prefer it if the holidays didn’t include all those holidays – 62%